The Library Speaks Volumes

Ok, sorry for the lame posting name, but I figured in blog world there is a certain number of puns one must use in order to qualify as a blogger (or maybe I can just draw penises on people and call myself Perez Hilton.) Either way, I am in the library right now and in need of a posting title to aptly express my thoughts.

I was here every day this week and noticed something about the talking here- people do it at their normal volume. Here I am trying to talked in a forced whisper and people are just carrying about in their normal voices. Why? Why should I force myself to sound like Joan Rivers while everyone else is not making an ass out of themselves? Is there rules regarding speaking in the library? If so, where the hell are they and why didn't they get handed out in the massive library packet at Orientation?

Rather than going down a long dangerous road in questioning why the library is torchering my with such silly rules, I am going to attempt to define some here and hope to God that someone reads this.

1. The floor you are on corresponds to your volume. If you are on the first floor (like I was today and yesterday) then you may speak at your normal tone of voice (but be conservative about it, if you have a naturally loud then adjust). If you are on the second floor, then whisper. If you are on the third floor (or in the stacks) then God help you if you dare utter a word. In fact fear for your life if you even dare to smile.
2. If you library has stacks, have sex in them BEFORE finals.

So, there are my new library rules. Please add on if you deem necessary.